My dear Mina, why are men so noble when we women are so little worthy of
them? Here was I almost making fun of this great hearted, true gentleman. I
burst into tears, I am afraid, my dear, you will think this a very sloppy
letter in more ways than one, and I really felt very badly.
Why can't they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save
all this trouble? But this is heresy, and I must not say it. I am glad to say
that, though I was crying, I was able to look into Mr. Morris' brave eyes, and
I told him out straight . . .
"Yes, there is some one I love, though he has not told me yet that he
even loves me." I was right to speak to him so frankly, for quite a light
came into his face, and he put out both his hands and took mine, I think I put
them into his, and said in a hearty way . . .
"That's my brave girl. It's better worth being late for a chance of
winning you than being in time for any other girl in the world. Don't cry, my
dear. If it's for me, I'm a hard nut to crack, and I take it standing up. If
that other fellow doesn't know his happiness, well, he'd better look for it
soon, or he'll have to deal with me. Little girl, your honesty and pluck have
made me a friend, and that's rarer than a lover, it's more selfish anyhow. My
dear, I'm going to have a pretty lonely walk between this and Kingdom Come.
Won't you give me one kiss? It'll be something to keep off the darkness now and
then. You can, you know, if you like, for that other good fellow, or you could
not love him, hasn't spoken yet."
That quite won me, Mina, for it was brave and sweet of him, and noble too,
to a rival, wasn't it? And he so sad, so I leant over and kissed him.
He stood up with my two hands in his, and as he looked down into my face, I
am afraid I was blushing very much, he said, "Little girl, I hold your
hand, and you've kissed me, and if these things don't make us friends nothing
ever will. Thank you for your sweet honesty to me, and goodbye." He wrung
my hand, and taking up his hat, went straight out of the room without looking
back, without a tear or a quiver or a pause, and I am crying like a baby.
Oh, why must a man like that be made unhappy when there are lots of girls
about who would worship the very ground he trod on? I know I would if I were
free, only I don't want to be free My dear, this quite upset me, and I feel I
cannot write of happiness just at once, after telling you of it, and I don't
wish to tell of the number Three until it can be all happy. Ever your loving .
. . Lucy
P. S.--Oh, about number Three, I needn't tell you of number Three, need I?
Besides, it was all so confused. It seemed only a moment from his coming into
the room till both his arms were round me, and he was kissing me. I am very,
very happy, and I don't know what I have done to deserve it. I must only try in
the future to show that I am not ungrateful to God for all His goodness to me
in sending to me such a lover, such a husband, and such a friend.
Goodbye.
DR. SEWARD'S DIARY (Kept in phonograph)
25 May.--Ebb tide in appetite today. Cannot eat, cannot rest, so diary
instead. since my rebuff of yesterday I have a sort of empty feeling. Nothing
in the world seems of sufficient importance to be worth the doing. As I knew
that the only cure for this sort of thing was work, I went amongst the
patients. I picked out one who has afforded me a study of much interest. He is
so quaint that I am determined to understand him as well as I can. Today I
seemed to get nearer than ever before to the heart of his mystery.
I questioned him more fully than I had ever done, with a view to making
myself master of the facts of his hallucination. In my manner of doing it there
was, I now see, something of cruelty. I seemed to wish to keep him to the point
of his madness, a thing which I avoid with the patients as I would the mouth of
hell.